Romania brings Personal Freedom

Posted by Dan and Carole McClelland

There is so much I could share about Romania, but the biggest thing God spoke into my life is that “His burdens are light and His yoke is easy." While in Romania, I realized I have been taking on many heavy burdens that were not mine to carry; I was struggling with false responsibility. Before leaving on my trip, I started to feel overwhelmed with what I thought were all my responsibilities while there: interpreting, one- on- ones, praying for people, supporting the Deaf couple, etc. Then a very smart mentor of mine said, “Carole, God has only called you to interpret in Romania, nothing else”. That was freeing! For so long I have been feeling responsible for other people's burdens; other people's lives, reactions, behaviors and even decisions. I now recognize they are not my own. My eyes have been unveiled, and I can clearly see examples of how I do this in almost every area of my life. In Romania, I began recognizing this stronghold in my life and have been able to walk in an opposite direction.

Brent and Nora, me and Brandi at the Constanta, Romania YWAM base



The DTS in Romania, with America, Romania, Germany, England, Brazil and Fiji represented.

It will be clearer if I share an example of God teaching me this truth. On this trip I planned to interpret everyday for class with Brandi Marsh, another interpreter, who made the trip with me. Then part way through my time in Romania, Dan unexpectedly had to go to the hospital and have surgery on his arm. He had contracted a bacterial infection near his elbow which had not responded to antibiotics requiring minor surgery. He is fine now, but at that time, while being in Romania so far away, I was trying to process Dan in the hospital and Olive at home with Grandma who was already in DC to help for the week. Dan's surgery was Wednesday which was Thursday morning in Romania. I had not talked with Dan after the surgery so, that morning, I was an emotional wreck. However, I kept on saying," I must interpret. I must interpret. I can do it." As I sat in class, I started crying, and walked in- and-out of class multiple times to get tissues. Finally, I realized that I was not being honest with myself or others; I needed to share that I was not able to interpret. Brent and Nora (the married couple I was interpreting for) and Will (the leader for the DTS) all completely understood and told me to "take care of yourself and your family". I refused to accept the blessing and tried to convince myself and them I could interpret, taking false responsibility for the DTS and making sure access was provided for through me. However, it did not work, and they persisted in encouraging me to step back. They protected my heart and set healthy boundaries in my life. For the rest of the morning, Will typed the message when Brandi was not interpreting. As I met with Jesus to calm my emotions, I became honest with God about how I was feeling. Through this situation, I realized that I needed to start being honest with God and others about my limitations, stop making all decisions on my own, and allow the leaders of the DTS help make decisions. Their love and wisdom allowed me to have the morning off where I cried out my feelings and then worshiped Jesus. This, in turn, allowed me to experience peace in my heart and afforded me time to connect with Dan.

(Brent, Brandi, Carole-ASL interpreting for Brent, Romanian woman translating into English, Florin-DTS Nature and Character of God teacher teaching in Romanian) 

This story is just one tiny example of my resistance to my limitations, but similar situations have been happening my whole life in every area of my life. I take on too much, am not honest about my limits, and try to do good out of compassion at times when God has not called me to intervene. However, in reality, I am hurting the other person and not being honest with myself, God, or others. The last couple days in Romania, God showed me an analogy of how I was living my life through a picture of shoes. My "shoes", symbolizing my life, are really worn and have holes in them representing me taking more responsibility than He required of me and of not being honest with myself. (They actually have been this way for a really long time but I never noticed). I see it now since He has revealed it to me, and He has offered me brand new shoes, shoes that only take burdens that are light and yokes that are easy. He poured into my spirit His truth that I am only responsible for myself, my own actions and my decisions. In faith, I needed to decide to take off the old shoes and try the new ones. I said yes! I know that I am going to be a new daughter of God and a better wife and mother because of these new shoes that lead me only into commitments and responsibilities He wants me to have. 

I was learning how to recognize what was my responsibility and what was false responsibility. A common phrase during the two weeks was "I am just the interpreter." Being a YWAMer and leader of DTSs, I could have easily taken on more during my time but it was duties that God was placing before me.  I was responsible for interpreting and meeting with Jesus!  And I did! I also did some really fun things with my time off.  For example, I rented a bike and biked around a lake near the YWAM base. I found a shady bench to sit and enjoyed reading The Horse and His Boy from the Narnia series.

Other things I did was go to a movie in a theater, which I have not done a lot time! I also spent time processing what God was teaching me by scrapbooking my revelations. This is a way that I internalize what God is speaking and how I can apply it to my life.  The yellow page below is how I was feeling going to Romania and the green page is what God spoke and did in my heart during Romania. 

      

 God gave me a 0.0 reset! Yep, 0.0! Revealing who He created me to be and taking me back to my original design. Everyday, He would give me one or two phrases describing who He created me to be that I have lost.  Things like, "I am fun", "Familiar Makes me Thrive", "I become alive when I worship", "Thankful Heart" "Called to light burdens and easy yokes" and many more.  

I was "AWAKENED" to be who I am called to be! 

A few days after these revelations, I went to the beach (25 min walk from the YWAM Base) and drew a line in the sand representing a crossing over of my own breakthrough with taking on heavy burdens.

I am still getting used to these new shoes and already have realized, after the fact, times I am putting on the old ones as it has become habit to accept more burdens than I can carry. However, bravely I take off the old shoes of wrong thinking and put on the new shoes of spiritual freedom. In the next couple months, I know that I am going to walk in an even deeper level of freedom in this area. Yet, I also have many things that I have previously said yes to that I will need to finish out. From now on may my yes be yes and my no be no according to God's wisdom and counsel. I know that God will give me the strength and grace to walk into the next season differently. With this new freedom, I do not fear the Fall anymore. I did before Romania because of the responsibilities of running two DTSs at the same time at the base. But now, I am looking forward to the opportunity to get to practice life in my new shoes. Will you pray for me to walk confidently in this new spiritual freedom?