(This blog is written by me from my eyes, but it really is Olive's story of how God met her at her deepest place of sorrow about the move. She agreed to share it with you if I included lots of pictures! Both, Olive and Valor checked and approved it before publishing.)
June 19th: Moving Becomes Real
We also sold the car today at a low cost to YWAM Deaf World! Due to the fact that Dan and Marion needed the van to the go to the tax office, I used Marion's car to pick up the kids at school today. To me this was just a necessary thing. However, when I picked up the kids from school using Marion's car, Olive immediately said, "What happened to our van?" And she almost refused to get in the vehicle. Hoping to diffuse the situation, I calmly shared that we were selling the van to YWAM, and Daddy needed to take it to the tax office. Olive tearfully cried, "But we have 2 more weeks left! It is still our van! I do not want to move!" I knew then it was going to be a hard day for Olive, and even harder to arrive home to empty bookshelves in our living room.
Since it was a swimming day and was the first day back to the pool since my divine encounter with God, I was curious what happened to my plant. I found the garden was all put back together, so I looked and looked and finally found it. My plant was planted in a different pot than I had thought my friend was going to use but it was planted in a unique planter and did look beautiful. I took a picture to remember.
On our way home from swimming, I knew I needed to warn Olive and Valor about the house and the empty shelves. As I did, Olive started to cry and say, "I don't want to move! This is not fair. We have 2 more weeks. Why are we moving things now! I am NOT moving. I don't want to leave my friends." As I drove, I gently grabbed her foot (A funny comforting thing I do in the car when I can not snuggle) and shared I completely understood, and it was okay to feel this way. During the day, I actually had written out prayer requests for our family during this move (see at the end of the blog). For Olive I asked for COMFORT and for God to meet her exactly where she is just like God did for me. I decided, in that moment in the car, I was going to be intentional today and share with Olive my grieving blog.
(Kenroy and Peta-Gay who got married in January are pregnant! So we are able to bless them with some of our baby things.)
We arrived home and Olive walked in saying, "NO! This does not feel right! I am not moving. Where are all of our things?" She stomped around for a while not sure what to do, so I asked her to come with me and process as I was hanging up the swimming things to dry. She followed me with continued stomping and intense angry, verbal processing. One of our staff who loves to play with our kiddos, Ellie, passed by and noticed Olive was struggling. I shared with Ellie that Olive arrived home to empty shelves and does not want to move. Ellie understood since she was actually moving into her new living space at the base too. She told Olive she had something for her so Olive went with her to get a glow stick pack (which our kids LOVE) and some fun hats. Then to avoid coming home to empty shelves, Olive asked to continue to process with Ellie, which I agreed was a wise decision. While Olive helped Ellie move her things to her new place, I messaged Olive's teacher saying we would not be able to complete her homework as I wanted to intentionally help Olive handle her strong emotions over moving. The teacher was understanding and caring in her response.
(There has been a lot of extra snuggles this season as the kiddos have needed more comfort and stability in this transition. Snuggles with Daddy happened the next morning before school. Ellie left for summer the next day, and it was an emotional parting for both of us too!)
After dinner, Olive normally has reading time, but instead, she brought a new game to me, asking to play it with me. Even though it was late, I agreed knowing this was what Olive needed. It definitely relaxed her. Afterwards we got ready for bed, and I shared I wanted to share my grieving blog with her. As we sat on my bed, snuggled up together, I read my journey of grief. Olive loved the picture of the tree and roots in the air. As I read, she would interject with comments like, "I feel the same way" or "I don't feel that way." For example, she responded to the part in my story when I did not want to share with friends about the move by saying, "I share with my friends everyday that I am moving. We are different, Mom." When I got to the part about Zacchaeus, Olive shared, "I am not ready to climb the tree and see Jesus either, Mom. We are the same there." It was such a sweet Mommy- daughter time, and I could tell it was helping her process what was happening in her own heart.
As we continued, Olive loved the pictures from my blog, and she laughed so hard over the part where I said Zacchaeus just pouted! At the last part of my story (when swimming was cancelled and God met me), she remembered the details exactly! We ended with the final picture of God holding the tree, and I asked her a few questions to help her to process what was happening in her heart. Olive shared honestly she did not want to move, and it was hard.
By now, she was getting tired but I shared, that just like Jesus met me, He wanted to speak and meet her too! I asked her to close her eyes and see if God showed her anything. She responded she might fall asleep but she would try. 2 or 3 seconds later Olive confidently said, "Isaiah 1:2. That just popped into my head." When I said, "Awesome" and suggested we look up the verse, Olive got nervous as she never had expressed God giving her a Bible reference before. (Olive has got pictures from God when praying often but never a Bible verse.) As she started to doubt what she heard, she said, "Maybe I was wrong. We don't have to look it up. Maybe it does not match." Encouragingly, I told her we would just see what it said either way. As we began to read the verses together, she said, "Verse 3, too, Mom. I got verse 3 first."
By now, she was getting tired but I shared, that just like Jesus met me, He wanted to speak and meet her too! I asked her to close her eyes and see if God showed her anything. She responded she might fall asleep but she would try. 2 or 3 seconds later Olive confidently said, "Isaiah 1:2. That just popped into my head." When I said, "Awesome" and suggested we look up the verse, Olive got nervous as she never had expressed God giving her a Bible reference before. (Olive has got pictures from God when praying often but never a Bible verse.) As she started to doubt what she heard, she said, "Maybe I was wrong. We don't have to look it up. Maybe it does not match." Encouragingly, I told her we would just see what it said either way. As we began to read the verses together, she said, "Verse 3, too, Mom. I got verse 3 first."
Isaiah 1:2-3
A Rebellious Nation
Hear me, you heavens! Listen, earth!
For the Lord has spoken:
“I reared children and brought them up,
but they have rebelled against me.
The ox knows its master,
the donkey its owner’s manger,
but Israel does not know,
my people do not understand.”
"I am sorry God for rebelling against you. Will you forgive me? Thank you for giving me your Word. In Jesus' name, Amen."
We continued on and read verse 3 too. Again, the Holy Spirit led Olive to recognize that she does not know God as well as she wants and does not understand just like he people of Israel. Again, I encouraged her to pray another prayer. And she did!
"Jesus, will you help me get to know you more than I know you now? I am sorry for my rebellion. I will let you move in my heart and move me physically. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Wow! My momma's heart was soaring for how God was meeting my daughter exactly how He met me! We closed with asking God if he had any pictures for Olive to help her remember what God spoke; like my last picture of the blog with God holding the roots. (We had definitely talked about that a lot, and Olive really liked that picture.)
She waited on God and said, "I got two! A happy face and a moving van."
After she shared her two pictures, she asked if she could research on Google for a picture that matched and found these two. As we looked for pictures for her to chose, Olive explained why she pictured her two pictures, " I am happy but not so happy yet. And I need a picture that says MOVING on the truck because that is what I saw from God."
As we finished up for the evening, Olive said this final declaration:
"I am happy that God is moving in me, and I am happy to move in PA. And the Lord is happy with me for making that decision."
Moments like this is part of God's plan for our move! I want to have more of these intentional moments with Olive and Valor and with all four of us as a family. We have created a safe place for Deaf people to experience God and have a depth of relationship with Him and I know that will be multiplied around the world. However, I also know I am called to do the same thing every day in my home. We have had moments like these throughout the 5 years in Jamaica (as I read this blog to Olive and Valor for accuracy and approval, Valor added that He remembered when we asked HS where my lost phone was and HS told us where it was), but God is calling me to disciple my children everyday the same way I disciple and am intentional with our staff! I am called to go deeper with my children and "be famous in my home".
I was so in awe of what God did and how He met her! I asked if I could make a blog, and she said okay as long as I put in a lot of pictures. Right then we took a few pictures remembering some important moments of the evening and wrote down her prayers together.
I am READY! I am EXCITED! God was so gracious to me as He allowed me to experience this spiritual breakthrough moment with Olive. It encouraged me in the transition. What a joy to be this beautiful, fearless, free, young girl's mother! And what an even greater joy to be able to help her discover who God made her to be and disciple her to "know God and make Him known" wherever she goes!
To close, I am reminded of the words Dan and I received for Olive during my pregnancy that still reign true today. In Jeremiah 1:5, God said to Jeremiah, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I knew you." Similarly, God knew Olive before she was born and shared with us some truths about who she was created to be. Now I am so excited to see her embrace and celebrate who God designed her to be! She hears God at a young age and will thrive in all circumstances!
OLIVE is a bringer of hope, is full of life, brings life to dead places and will thrive in all circumstances! She is one that is BRAVE and will bring BRAVERY to others around her.
Precious, Spirit of Joy, Faith, Blessing, Promised One, Radiant, Knows God (hearing His voice at a young age), Daughter of Nations (one that brings people together from different nations), Bringer of Peace, Bold and Fearless, Worshiper and Full of Life
Transition Prayers for the McClellands: written Wednesday, June 19th before this blog happened.
Pray for a strong finish for:
Kids school
Last week in Jamaica
Last week with our team
Peace, comfort and closure for each of us as a family
Olive - Comfort
Olive specifically has been crying and grieving at night expressing that she does not want to move, does not want to leave her friends and does not feel right moving. She has needing more snuggles and comfort and does not want them to stop. My prayer that God would be so evident to her and that she would experience Him in a deep way through this experience and meet her just like He did for me.
Valor- Peace
As we are transitioning our schedule and routine are changing and that is hard for Valor who thrives on routines and stability. He has been quick to anger and raise his voice when there are changes instead of breathing and communicating kindly with words. He also has needed hugs even when he does not initially want them. My prayer for Valor is that he would slow down, connect with what is happening inside of him and God would give him a deep peace because he can trust God and us as his parents as the stability in his life.
Dan- Strength
-Strength to finish the gestural gospel presentation in time to show our Deaf friend without language, Donna and get feedback to share during one of our new connections during our July trip.
-All the extra projects that are almost finished around the base that he needs to close up before we go.
-Helping the team move into their new homes in base making space for large number of students in the Fall.
Carole : Wisdom
-Lunches dates with people who want to say goodbye (So MANY people! Definitely can't say yes to all).
-Packing the house- what to pack and what to leave
-What do to when to do it - taking deep breaths and doing one thing at a time - let go of things we are not supposed to do
1 comments:
Thank you Carole for sharing Olive's transition journey. My heart is touched. Praying for your family as you move to the farm near Grandma & Grandpa ❤ "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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