Posted by
Dan and Carole McClelland
I am not a pioneer. I hate the messy, spontaneous, chaotic, unstructured way of life as we pioneer. I thrive with a schedule and well-defined plans. Before we had kids, I functioned best that way, but I've realized I desire structure even more now with kids. I love having a set routine that brings order to my life and then following that plan knowing what to expect in daily living. Furthermore, I am also not a multi-tasker, My mind is completely focused on one task, whatever I am going! However, in the midst of transitioning and pioneering, there are always so many things happening , or needing to happen, at the same time that life becomes very overwhelming for me. If you add in raising children ages 5 and almost 2, whom I desire to disciple into loving, caring people of God, it is easy to understand why pioneering is and has been hard.
All that being said though, the reality is God connected me and led me to marry a man that is a pioneer. Seriously, we are completely opposite in so many ways, which I know is why we make a great team. For the 5 voices test, a test that helps you understand your leadership voice and other peoples' voice in how they approach life, the results confirmed we are complete opposites. The voices are: pioneer, connector, nurturer, guardian, and creative (innovative). Dan's test revealed his order of functionality from strongest to weakest was Pioneer, Creative, Guardian, Nurturer and Connector. My results were, you guessed it, the complete opposite: Connector, Nurturer, Guardian, Creative and Pioneer.
I am realizing that as a couple, we are called to pioneer. His strong pioneering and innovative gifts match with my connector gifting to make us a strong team together to trail blaze into new territory. With each move we have made, the bases and organizations have been in a transition and pioneering season.It was not a coincidence that God placed us at those places specifically during a pioneering phase every time. And every time for me, it has been a struggle. However, I am learning that God wants me to grow in the way of pioneering and transition, and that He is gracious to lead me well when the way is difficult if I just listen. Right before we moved to CCCD, God spoke clearly to my heart through our base leader, Danya. The week before we were going to CCCD, our base leader asked us a question: Are you embracing and choosing to enter into everything God wants to teach you this season or are you at a place where you are just enduring the suffering and "getting through" the season? I already had thought in my mind, "
It will be just a week or two and we will find a new normal. I just have to make it through this week." However, Danya, challenged me that, through the transition, God had a lot for me to learn. He desired for me to embrace His lessons rather than suffer through them and miss the benefits of joyful surrender to Him.
So entering into this season, I already said "yes" to embracing this pioneering period, not just making it through. The result is I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about how God wants to grow me in many areas. I'd like to share just a few things I've learned.
First, I have seen in this transition how often my desire is to create order in the midst of chaos. Overall, that's not a bad trait and can actually be beneficial. However, I'm learning that I need to be content in the chaos for a season; especially when my desire to organize, to settle, to have everything in its place, and to have a routine has become a greater priority than my relationships with my kids or my husband. Throughout the transition days recently, when I'm with the kids, I'm not able to do as much organizing as I would like to do. As a result, when I'm trying to organize but my children need attention and guidance, conflict occurs within my spirit. If I'm trying to do something but the children are seeking my attention, I am interrupted and can not finish my designated projects. In these times, I was responding in frustration and sometimes anger. It was in these moments that God began teaching me that I needed to stop, to seek Him for a way out, to surrender my own way, and to choose to follow His way. Most of the time, this has meant stopping the organization of a disorderly house and embracing contentment in chaos with my children. During the last month, I have taken His way often which has led to peace, but at other times I definitely chose to ignore God's wisdom which led me to hurt the people around me and produced frustration inside of my own heart.
To be perfectly honest, I feel I have been trying to hide the fact that I am not a pioneer or a multi-tasker. However, I am realizing in this season, it is okay to be who I am and to say I am not a pioneer naturally or a multi-tasker by nature. By being honest, I am learning to allow God to work in my weakness. How can I, the way God created me, glorify Him in this season? How can I love my family and people around me better in the midst of chaos and transition? What has He been showing me and teaching me?
Patty McClelland, Dan's mom, wrote us an encouraging letter, and we opened it during this past transition season. In it she wrote, "This summer when Olive keeps saying,
'It's hard.' I have come to reply,
"Yes, but not too hard. Jesus will help you."
I think these words are a great summary of this past transition season. It has been hard, but not too hard. Jesus has helped us every step of the way.
One of the lessons I have learned through this season is: God always has an answer. To every problem I face, God has an answer. And as My Father he is desiring me to stop, look to Him and seek out His answer. In response to this truth, I have spent 2 months training myself to first recognize when I am overwhelmed and then admit that I do not know what to do. As I confess I do not have the answer, I am learning to pause (instead of my natural instinct to keep going), to look to Jesus, and to WAIT for His answer. Then finally when His answer comes, to choose to embrace His way out of the situation.
Today was a perfect example of submitting to this new way of responding to life's frustrations. I was driving downtown Montego Bay for Olive to be sized with a seamstress for her school uniform for the Fall. Downtown is a place that I avoid driving especially with the kids in the van. I am not naturally good with directions or driving in tight spaces, and it is definitely crazy driving in Montego Bay with all the one ways. I always get nervous driving downtown. Today I was driving, made a wrong turn and got lost! GPS was not helping, and I sensed myself getting overwhelmed. I pulled over, and a man helped me find a place to park. At this point, I just stopped, looked to God and asked Him what to do. I felt I was supposed to call the seamstress and share the situation honestly with her. When I called, she asked, " Where are you?" I did not even know. I was embarrassed that I could not even give her my location. This woman, named Monique, cared and loved me. We Face-timed for her to see where I was. After she discovered where I was, she closed up her shop and walked to me. At first I tried to protest: "I can figure it out, you don't need to come to me, I can ask for directions, etc." Anything to avoid her having to come. But she insisted, and I realized this was God's answer. I needed to accept His way. She told me to stay where I was, and she would come to direct me to her shop. The kids and I waited ,and she came as promised. She got into my car and told me the way. Monique is a perfect example of what God has been doing with me in this season. God, like Monique, tells my heart , "
Stop. Don't do anything. I will come and meet you exactly where you are, and I will bring you to where I am." He's been meeting me over and over when I call on Him, admit I don't know what to do or where I am, and acknowledge I need help. He has been faithful every time to come and direct me exactly where He wants me to go.
Yes, pioneering is hard for me. But it is not too hard because we have Jesus that wants to help. God is looking for me to stop when a problem arises and wait on Him to give me direction. In this new place of spiritual growth, I am choosing, during big and little moments, to recognize when I am getting overwhelmed and ask Him for instructions on what to do. It has been life-giving! He has always answered. The calling and command for us here in Jamaica is not too hard, it is not out of our reach. He gives us the choice between life and death, and I am learning to choose life in all circumstances.
Deuteronomy 30:11, 19-20
For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off.
I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord y our God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.
