New Manna EVERY MORNING!

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The first couple days of the year, I arrived in DC and found that I still had some food left in the freezer from last year.  I often would make a large portion of a meal and then freeze it so I did not have to cook all the time. And I still had some left.  I did not want to waste it or throw it away.  So I was reheating it and eating it even though it did not taste every good. 

On Jan 8th I was reflecting in Ex 16 for my quiet time, where God provided manna for the Israelites.  Verse 19 -20 jumped out at me.  "No one is to keep any of it until morning. However, some of them paid no attention to Moses, they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell."  

I had been holding onto and even trying to eat rotten manna (Freezer meals from last year).  All the meals had meat in them and I still tried to eat them avoiding the meat when God clearly confirmed and I decided to live a lifestyle without meat (will share more about no meat and new lifestyle of healing eating in next blog). I even was trying to convince Dan to eat them (it did not work but I tried).

I immediately felt called to throw out the rest of the freezer meals from 2012 and look forward to the new manna of 2013! And I did! It was so freeing to left go of the old manna and Trust God will provide new manna!

After I threw out the freezer meals, I got excited about new And I really wanted PIZZA! So Dan and I went to Whole Foods and found some bread crust that I could have and pasta sauce and a bunch of veggies and made some delicious PIZZA! I had not had PIZZA for over 9 months the last time in Costa Rica! And the new manna was SOOOO GOOOD! 

After this experienced, I realized I do this spiritually too! I often hear a word from God for a season or a day and I hold onto that word forever and try to apply it to every situation of my life when it was for yesterday and God has NEW MANNA for me everyday! 

I love that we can trust him to provide NEW MANNA EVERY MORNING! 

Candida Infection: Complete Restoration and Healing

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The closing of Yes Organic Market and Dan and I moving to 4th street was the week before Thanksgiving.  We slept in our new house for 2 days and then flew to Chicago to visit my family! We had an amazing trip with family and seeing God work in my family!  When I arrived, my dad took me to Whole Foods and brought me anything I wanted! I used our kitchen everyday and my mom loved it! She was there with me watching me cook, writing down recipes and trying my meals.  Dan and I had the opportunity to cook for the family throughout the week.  We made ommelettes, Eggplant KiKu, Asparagas and noodles, Pasta Salad, muffins, Mashed Cauliflower, and Cinn Roasted Nuts for a treat.  Everyone was enjoying my food and learning together!  We went out to eat only TWO times for the whole week and a half and it was not fast food but resturants! I was completely blessed by how my family completely embraced me and cared for my needs during this week.

In addition, God also revealed so much to me about patterns that I have related to bondage to food.  I struggled during Thanksgiving to choose life for my body and stay in the boundaries of portions God has set for me.  He wanted me to break theses habits and break them soon for healing to come.

The last day we were in Chicago, our team was starting a 7 day fast for an event in DC called Remnant Cry.  When I say our team was starting a fast, I mean that each person prays specifically what God is calling them to do during the fast. It may be only water or fruits and vegetables or no TV or meat, etc.  We do not ask each other what God has called them to and we do not judge one another.  Trusting each has sought and heard God.  As I prayed about what God was calling me to I struggled to hear with clarity.  I mean I did have Candida so I could not just do water and I was already on a very strict diet.  But I felt like I was supposed to give up extras like meat and nuts etc.

Well, Wed of that week our team started a 72 hour worship/prayer set for the event and as we were starting I felt God tell me that I was using Candida as an excuse not to fast and he wanted more of me.  After the initial agruement I surrendered and asked what I should do.  He called me to walk in the opposite spirit of some of the patterns/habits he has revealed during Thanksgiving.  He wanted me to daily lessen my food intake up to the day of the event, only having liquid that day.  So I did.  And through the 72 hours, we each had 9 hours watches worshipping/praying for God's will for Remnant Cry. As I fasted and prayed, God was speaking and doing a work in me.

On Friday night, Nov. 30th, we were all worshipping and Jason asked everyone to pray for each other in the room.  I felt that I was not supposed to pray for others but to receive prayer.  That God wanted to give me teach me to just receive gifts.  Many people prayed prayers that spoke directly into my life and what God was speaking.  As one of our new staff was praying for me I felt God say ask her to pray for healing for my digestive system.  During the four months, people had prayed for me but I had never asked for prayer.  I believe in healing and that our God heals but God was still growing my faith to completely believe.  I said ok God I will.  I asked her for prayer and she did not even know what I needed prayer (I did not know her well yet).  I shared briefly about Candida and she placed her hand on my digestive system and started warring in tongues for a while.  As she was praying, I heard God say

The Candida overgrowth is gone.  It is under control again.  You and your digestive system are healed.

Afterwards, she was out of strength but asked if I felt different or heard anything.  I was nervous to share and proclaim something in faith, not seeing or having the physical results. But I told her in faith.

The next day, Dec 1st was the event. At the event, Lou Engle spoke on fasting and having a do or die spirit for Jesus.  As well as others speakers including Jason.  During the time of worship and response, there were people in front offering prayer for those who wanted it.  As I sat there, I sensed a freedom like never before! The chains of food and Candida were completely broken.  I stood by faith that yesterday did happen. That my body was completely restored and brought to healing!  He even revealed other areas of my life he wanted to start working on to confirm that I was done with the battle with Candida and food.  It was an amazing night of freedom!  The following week, our team debriefed the week and during the meeting I testified what God done and shared that my body was completely restored and I was healed! And continued to testify to family and friends in faith!

Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. It  is an inner conviction of the truth of the nature of God (He will fulfill his promises) and taking actions of obedience based on His nature. Before, I had the physical results I knew the truth that God had spoken promises over me that He is a God who is faithful to them and decided to declare what I felt in my heart.  

And then 2 weeks later I went to the specialist and got results in the physical world that confirmed the results I knew that God did in my body to my spirit.  God taught me even more than I wrote about through the last 4 months and is still teaching me more! 

Although, this is the last official blog about my Candida Infection, as I do not have it anymore.  I do plan to blog some funny stories that happened during the 4 months as well as share the process maintaining a new life of healthy eating that God is calling me to live. 

Thank you for all of your prayers, love, encouragement and support! Thank you for reading what God has done and taught me.  It was a joy sharing the goodness of our Father and his plan with each of you.  

If you have a testimony or God spoke to you through my blogs or anything please write a comment or email me at mcclellandsforchrist@gmail.com.  I would love to hear from you! 

Candida Infection: The store is closing . . . no more Candida

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It was Fri. Nov 9th, is a day I will never forget. Again, I heard Jesus again speak to me about healing.

Just about a week and a half after the night of studying perseverance, waking up in the middle of the night receiving the phrase about healing being different than what I thought.  As I was shopping I noticed that many of the normal foods I got where on being stocked up and other items were on sale.  I asked the manger when the store would be getting more Ezekiel bread and he responded "Oh, do you not know?" I was a regularly costumer, every couple days most of the time with Avella (the 3 year old girl who I watched during the day who has beautiful eyes that everyone mentions) getting more vegetables I was on first name basis with most of the workers.  I gave a puzzled look.

"The store is closing." My mind automatically went into panic. This is where I get my food, all my organic vegetables that I need to eat.  Where I am going to get the food I need to heal my body.  And the gentle voice of the Lord said "I am closing this chapter in your life." I took a deep breath trusting God.  I returned to the conversation and asked when will the store be closing? He explained it had not been decided exactly but it would close in Dec.  I said thank you and walked away.

I could not continue shopping.  I just walked around the store amazed.  Dec was the month that I was scheduled to go back to the specialist and the time frame I was supposed to be on the diet and the quickest amount of time the specialist had seen someone recover from Candida, which I committed to.

The Candida was going to lose.  The infection was backing down.  The battle was almost done.  

AND God kept the Yes Organic Market opened for me until it was won!

I was amazed! I started jumping in the store! Jumping for JOY! The battle is won! It is over! The store is closing! The store is closing! I did not need to convince my mind to believe.  It believed! I got the few things I needed and I skipped back home.  As I arrived, I very excitedly shared the news with Kimberlee, the store was closing and I am healed! She rejoiced with me.  

It was just a few days later, Tuesday Nov 13th that Jason and Kimberlee approached us to pray about moving into the staff house as David's Tent was over and there was a couple room available.  As Dan and I prayed, I felt a little anxiety . . . more people . . .  more food . . .  more temptation.  I felt a peace and a voice say you are ready, trust me.  Both of us, felt that it was from God that we moved and shared with Jason the next day and that same day packed up our things and moved to 4th street and Martin Luther King Dr. (still the same area but deeper in the community of Anacostia) with six other YWAM staff youth.  We moved away from Candida and we moved to Healing.  

Candida Infection: Healing is different than you think

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After being locked up with Jesus and receiving the revelation on the word perseverance,  I woke up in the middle of night and as a phrase was clearly impressed in my mind.

HEALING is different than what you think. 

I have a notebook next to my bed just in case I have a dream or God speaks to me at night so I wrote down the phrase and pondered on it for a second and then went back to sleep.  The next day, I asked God about the phrase seeking more understanding.  

As I did, I was reminded of a teaching on fasting that I had heard since being here in DC.  Here in DC, we serve in a fasting community with people who often do personal fasts and we often do corporate fasts thus fasting is a topic that is taught and discussed about often.  I have always considered fasting an act from something.  When you fast, you give up something or decide to stop eating meat or stop watching TV etc.  However, the last couple months I am realizing how wrong that concept is.  Fasting is an act TO something.  It is an act TO know God more, or an act TO be more controlled by the spirit. The focus is not on the things you are giving up or fasting "from" but what you are gaining through the fasting, what you are fasting TO.  

This same concept applied to my personal healing.  Up until this point in the battle, my concept of healing was going back to Egypt, or back to my old way of eating.  I was looking forward to the time when I would be able to eat Taco Bell again and drink something other than water and have brownies and ice cream! When I thought of healing my mind thought SUGAR! God was revealing to me that His meaning for healing was completely different than mine and I needed to align mine with His in order to receive it.  

Healing is different that what you think.  Ok God what is healing? How do you define it for me?   

Healing is a complete restoration of your body through a new life of eating healthy.  

I wrote in my journal afterwards "God I want your healing, I want your future and to eat according to your will. But honestly I have no idea what that looks like.  But I know you will guide me day by day into it.  I trust you with it.  Show me." 

As I am writing this blog, I am at a completely different place than when I received this Word from God.  Throughout the last two months I have clung to this phrase not knowing the exact meaning but seeking to know.  I smile to myself because God has guided me into what it means for me and still showing me the how to live this new way of life of healthy eating and walking in restoration of my body. 

Candida Infection: Consider it pure joy to face trails . . . produces PERSEVERANCE

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Fast forward to Oct 31st, about 70 days of choosing LIFE for my body and declaring and believing God's truth. I had been following the strict diet for 70 days and honestly I was expecting that by that time I would be better.  I thought that I would be done.  I thought that I would have energy again and that I could be able to eat sugar again. It had been 70 days! That was a lot of days of just vegetables!

Do not get me wrong, I was having fun cooking and learning how to cook and really started to enjoy baked eggplant and aparagus and soba noodles and artichokes with homemade italtan dressing.  And there was battles won in my digestive system and being able to process more foods. I was now eating reintroducing foods in small amounts like grains (quinoa, millet, brown rice) and meats (chicken, fish and beef) and nuts.  And my body was able to handle small amounts of oil so I was able to cook with more variety which was great.  But it was 70 days and I was growing impatient with God's timing with his healing.  I was growing weary of declaring and believing without seeing.  I was losing heart about the possibility of ever going back to my normal life of having energy and eating normal food again. And it was seeping through in my thoughts, attitudes, words and choices everyday. I recognized that I started to give up and started declaring my identity based on what I was experiencing and seeing again. Stating, this is how I am.  This is amount of strength I have and will have.  This is the way I will feel forever.  I was growing weary of fighting and losing hope in winning.

I remember it so clearly because Dan's brother and daughter, Kelby and Kaeyln were visiting from NC.  I was low on energy and did not have the strength to do all the things we wanted to do. I could not even make it a full day without a nap and walking up stairs were still hard and done very slowly step by step.  I was ok with that on day 10 but day 70! I expected more! After a day of fun out, we arrived home and I was exhuasted.  We still planned to go out again and I had a terrible attitude.  Dan noticed and asked me about it.  I said I am fine lets go but he knew better and basically locked me up in our room telling me to met with Jesus (I love my husband!).

As I sat alone in my room, I did not even know where to start.  I realized that distance had grown between me and my father, me and my lover, me and my counselor. I just sat. And after a while started to pour out my hear to God, I just said whatever was on my mind and heart.  Being honest with him.  Afterwards, I begged Him to speak to me again.  I needed another rock to stand on.  I needed to hear his voice of reassurance and comfort and hope.  I waited. And waited.  It seemed like forever and finally a verse came to my mind.  James 1:2-4, Consider it pure joy to face trails because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Perseverance,  my daughter, I am teaching you perseverance so that you can be mature and complete. My response to God's gentle voice: Perseverance! NO! Can you pick another scripture.  Pick another word.  I do not want to learn about perseverance.  It is right up there with patience and giving! Give me another word.  I waited for my new word my new verse.  Again I heard perseverance.  And another scripture (Romans 5:1-5) was brought to mind about perseverance. And then another one, Hebrews 12:1-3, perseverance again.  Ok, God, I surrender you win.  Teach me about perseverance.

I turned to the back of my bible and looked up perseverance and all the scriptures that had the word in it.  I spent the whole night in our room soaking up truth about perseverance.  Allowing His truth to sink in again.  I mediated on them, slowing down my reading pace and investigating them word by word, digging out the most I could out from each word of God.  Hope was being restored, I started to get color again and feel life in my spirit to believe!  God was teaching me something, he was teaching me perseverance and I was going to do everything I can to learn the lesson! I started to make declarations from the scriptures (below) to be able to memorize and proclaim out loud to myself.

I came out of my room, with my spirit alive and joyful! Declaring that through suffering God was producing perseverance in me. My faith is growing more and more and perseverance is a characteristic to boast about. I am a women throwing off everything that hinders and sin that entangles, so I can be strengthen to run the race marked out for me with perseverance. I am choosing to fix my eyes on Jesus so that I do not grow weary or lose heart and more!

And I can testify that God has produced perseverance in me! I have grown in strength, in muscles, in weight, in energy! Last week, just about 2 months after the night Dan locked me up with Jesus, we went on a 2.5 mile mountain hike in the Appalachian Mountains in VA. Again it was the word of God, that gave me life and joy to continue to persevere, to continue to get up and fight, to get up and believe, to get up and love Jesus with the energy and strength that He gave me each day allowing perseverance to finish its work in me to make me mature and complete!

Perseverance Declarations

I thank God for producing perseverance in me through suffering which leads to character and hope (Romans 5:1-5).

Perseverance is boast worthy and increases my faith (2 Thess. 1:3-5).

I am being strengthen to run the race marked out for me with perseverance by throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1-3).

I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus so I will not grow weary or lose heart (Hebrews 12:1-3).

It is pure joy to face trails because it is testing my faith which produces perseverance in me (James 1:2-4).

I choose to let perseverance finish its work in me so that I can be mature and complete, not lacking anything in Christ Jesus (James 1:2-4).

Perseverance is being added to my faith (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Jesus sees and commends how I am enduring hardship without growing weary (Rev 2:1-3).

I am worthy of the kingdom of God as I persevere (2 Thess. 1:3-5).  

Candida Infection: Choosing LIFE

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So I know I shared about the victory (YAY) but I want to go back and share a little more about the struggle and battle to the victory, where God was teaching me how to fight so that I could overcome and stand firm in the victory!

RECAP:

God speaking it is ok to rest and then making it up the hill.  Deciding to seek Him through the battle! Then God revealing scripture and calling me to base my identity on his Word instead of my experience and beginning to speak out declarations to my mind, spirit and body based on His truth producing FAITH in me.  And then God opening my eyes to the way He had completely planned me and my environment and circumstances for me to overcome the battle in my body.  The next step was learning how to fight! 

I wish I could share with you that after I decided to believe God's Word and make declarations that it was as easy as 1, 2, 3 and bam VICTORY! But honesty it was not.  It was hard learning how to fight.  It felt like a roller coaster, up and down, good days and hard days.  Days of victory and times of falling.  I felt like a baby beginning to walk.  Taking one step and then falling and having to get up again for another try.  As I making declarations based on God's Word, I was faced with all the lies I believed that were in complete conflict with his truth.  I had to demolish arguments and every pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of God and take captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10: 5). And it was a lot of fighting. I had to decide to face the lies that were not planted by my heavenly Father and allow Him to pull up every one by the roots (Matthew 15:13). 

For example one of the lies I believed was that it was not fair for me to have to follow such a strict diet when other people could eat whatever they wanted.  I felt restricted and limited like I was in chains or jail when others seemed to be running free and have so much freedom.  This lie started to really effect the way I viewed and interacted with other people.  I actually would get angry with others for being able to eat a chili or a cookie and start to build bitterness and resentment in my heart toward people and towards God for forcing me to be on the diet.  And it was even harder as it was during Community Dinners, where our staff and community would get together for a meal of fellowship.  The team would make a great taco bar, order out or go out to a restaurant and I would have my celery and cucumbers (oh goodie).  

One day at the end of the month of September, so about a month or so from seeing the specialist, there was a community dinner.  As we pulled up to our base, I told Dan and Kimberlee to go in and that I needed to stay in the car and meet with Jesus for a bit before going in.  I sat in the van and put a demand on my faith.  I told God, I need to hear your voice before I go in.  I need something to be able to stand on firmly as I go in and see everyone eating something but me.  I need to hear your voice, speak to me! 

I sat and waited.  Waited with expectation of God speaking.  After some time, the verse in Acts "you have made known to me the path of life" came to mind. I found the verse but saw a cross reference in Psm 16.  So I turned to Psms and read the chapter and verses 5-6 jumped off the page into my heart. 

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup, 

you have made my lost secure. 

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 

surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

 I reflected on it and revelation came.  God had clearly assigned me what to eat and how much to eat (my portion and my cup).  And the diet that I was given by God (boundary lines fallen) were in PLEASANT places.  It was the path of life for me and my body! For my body a taco or a cookie was death, not life. For others maybe it was life but for me it was death. I was not in prison.  I was not restricted. I could choose to eat a taco from the taco bar or a cookie.  But God made know the path of life for me and it was a place of LIFE and FREEDOM for me.  And it was my decision to CHOOSE to LIFE.  To choose to walk in the path that God has clearly laid out for me.  

In my heart, I felt a God give me a promise, as you choose to walk in the path of life and choose to stay in the boundary lines I have given you, you will experience true FREEDOM and LIFE (delightful inheritance).  Your heart will be glad, your tongue will rejoice and you body will rest secure (v. 9).  This was the rock that I needed to be able to stand. I entered the community dinner and was able to eat my veggies, repeating the verses and promises God had just spoken.  

This past Sunday, YWAM DC had our first community dinner coming back from Christmas break. There was no question or struggle about what I would do.  I brought my meal of LIFE.  My heart was glad as I cooked my brown rice pasta and tomato sauce.  Today my tongue (fingers) are rejoicing as I share this blog and my body was at rest and secure on Sunday as I was walking out the path of LIFE that God has laid out for me. 

I was planning on writing this blog a couple days ago right after our first community dinner to testify of the victory and to share that I am now walking with ease. However every time I planned to write it something else would happen or come up.  I love the plan of God.

Last night I fell again. 

After learning how to walk and getting comfortable (and prideful) with walking, I fell.

And with a fall, God was giving me another choice . . . a choice to based my identity on God's Word about who I was or use experience to empower a negative identity. 

After dinner at a friends house, I arrived home and snacked on almost everything I had in my cabinet after just having dinner! I hear God's gentle voice . . . you have a choice . . . choose life . . . choose portions in my boundaries.  But I continued to eat.  I choose to ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit and continue to clog my digestive system into overload.  Finally, I called Dan for accountability (I needed to tell someone to tell me to stop!).  He told me to go up to our room, take the way out of the temptation that God was providing. I took the way out and I went up to my room.  However, I went with saddness and disappoinment in myself for falling after walking for so long.

As I woke up this morning to pray and process with God, I felt his voice write that blog.  Choose to remember the rock I gave you and stand on the truth of my Word and choose to base your identity on that instead of what you are feeling or the choice you made last night.  Choose to take your thoughts captive and allow me to align them with my Word.  Choose to get up and start walking again and as you do I will continue to hone in your fighting skills, so you will have peace in your promised land.